This is the part that can be said the most. Moreover, the biggest misunderstandings are also about this part. Unfortunately, one of the big mistakes made here is to confuse violence with pain. So let’s do this first:
violence; It is a type of psychological behavior aimed at harming the other party in order to see the existence of the other as a threat in order to provide in-group authority in humans and animals living in groups, other than defense or counter-defense due to the basic impulse and existence, and to try, or rather intimidate, the other party.
Angle; (physiology) heartache: severe pain in any part of the body. (wiktionary) -this is just the physiologically brought definition-
As it can be seen, there is only one sentence that we should stick to, “intend to harm”, which is included in the definition of violence . This is important because in sm or even bdsm relationships, no practice or relationship type is intended to harm. some may be intended to cause pain or suffering, but here the parties already want it.
The most obvious point where sm differs from other relationships is this; The parties do not have to be in active or passive roles. so every sadist doesn’t have to be on the ball at the same time, and not every masochist has to be on the bottom side at the same time. You may be on the dominant side who likes to suffer and vice versa.
One of the issues that is often discussed here is whether to do painful practices or to see the other party suffer; We will seek an answer to this question as well.
We said violence and pain discrimination, in the light of making this distinction right, we can get rid of most of the prejudices against bdsm in general. It would be correct to say that pain games based on consent do not violate even the bodily autonomy of individuals as long as they do not allow it.
The sadist enjoys making the other person suffer. While some are fed only from pain, some take pleasure from breathing games and practices such as bondage, suspension, which we call suspension. he often desires to be the cause of the pain himself, but can also take pleasure from situations. Freud’s and Sade’s researches and ideas on this subject can be viewed. because it is always open to debate to what extent the sadism issue in question is normal, and to what extent it is caused by a spiritual problem.
The masochist, on the other hand, usually discovers himself through the level of self-pity. He usually finds pleasure by feeling the physical pain inflicted and by being in control of that pain. Again, there is a saying on this subject, “The masochist generally desires the pain he wants to inflict on the other person in his own body.”